costume ideas

Did y’all take AP Life Math in high school? I did and one thing I remember learning was: what you put into halloween = (what you get out of it + x) - y

We could get real into the weeds with what x is, what y is. I remember this section taking like 2 months and the test was grueling. X could be stuff like “invite to a fun party” or like “no rain,” and y could be stuff like “mom made you wear a turtleneck under your Tinkerbell costume which ruined the sheer panel illusion” or “rain.”

The reason I remember this math at all is because it’s one of those school things that ended up becoming a real life thing. What you put into Halloween pretty much is what you get out of it. I’m gonna blast through a bunch of costume suggestions in case they’re inspiring, or they’re exactly what you want to do, or in some other way entertaining or enriching to your life. Maybe you sew them all into a quilt and it keeps you warm all winter.

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First, my ideas that I don’t totally know how to fabricate:

Nancy Meyers Kitchen

Nancy Meyers is a filmmaker famous for her specific kitchen designs in movies like It’s Complicated and Father of the Bride. I think this costume would be like you in a flowy layered white outfit and then maybe you’re wearing a posterboard behind you that’s printed with one of her kitchens as a backdrop.

Inspirational poster

I don’t know how but I think going as one of those inspirational work posters would be unbelievable.

to that end I also think going as the Michael Jordan Wings poster would be excellent

My final difficult costume is my white whale. I thought of this years ago but I just can’t figure it out.

Ikea Instruction Person

If you ever see me lost in thought it’s safe to assume this is what I’m thinking about.

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Let’s do easier ones now.

frosting + food coloring + your clothes and face and you’re the food fight scene from Hook

dress, cardigan, watermelon, curly lob for bonus points, and you’re Baby from Dirty Dancing

lots of tinfoil wrapped around your body in a vague animal shape and you’re Restaurant Leftovers

Finally, this is a very specific one for my 90s pals, regular clothes + one of those silver marathon blankets and you can be Alex Mack. Just throw that thing over yourself and melt to the floor and slither.

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These would take effort but be excellent

First, the goofy friars from Sister Act Two. Specifically the one in the chef hat and the one in the straw hat when they have the enormous salami.

I would love love love to see someone do Elle Woods from her Harvard Application video and of course you’d have her speech memorized. If I were to do this I’d wear the pink bikini top with a blonde pony and I’d wrap everything under my boobs in a blue sheet to be like the hot tub.

This is on the back burner for me for future halloweens - Cinderella being dressed by birds. I think with wire this would be actually not so complicated.

And my maternity idea is Anthony from Strega Nona after he’s eaten all the pasta

I’ll end there, and I’m not sharing my costumes yet, but I will say I am planning on doing about 4.

Why 4? Last year as I trailed behind Bruno from house to house in the rain dressed as Shania Twain from the That Don’t Impress Me Much music video I had a revelation - adult facing costumes for adult parties, kid facing costumes for kid parties. DUH. And then some ideas I’ll do on Insta because it’s fun for me.

And now from our tiktok correspondents:

a rollercoaster
Harry and Marv
Didi Pickles
Zinnea Wormwood (Matilda’s mom)
Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne
trophies
Forrest Gump and Jennie
Best in Show
fancy bird from Planet Earth
Romy and Michelle
naked Sims
CVS receipt
Shrek cast

Thx for reading!

-Britt